really confused

I exactly know: there are two mosquitos around me. I hate them.

Today I kill the time through watching TV show on YouKu site. There are one movie, a walk in the clouds, and a serial TV show, sex and the city. Now when I am going to close my computer, I really feel confused by what I received from actors.

This morning, in A Walk in The Clouds, the director shows me a wonderful image; there are beautiful scenes, commitment, true love, family. Everything looks easy to get and give, even in the end the director give a bright and very perfect future. I had thought maybe Paul will die on the way back to the Clouds or maybe the farm should be really hurt by that fire, but, neither of them happens. Too perfect to be believed.

And then when I continued to watch Sex and The City, which I have kept watching few days, I was thrown into another different world. Yes, there are so many needs, sex, betrayal, and too complicated relationship between men and women. What happen on these people like us? What we really want? Yes, there are a big problem with these girls like Carrie and Samatha. When everything is ok or too okay, they feel uncomfortable. They are used to ask ourselves "Are there something wrong?" and answer to themselves "definitely, there are something."
Though I do not like the end of the TV show, Carrie still choose Big, and lives of all of four women go into a normal orbit. So sad! You never can beat time and age. They always change you in cruel ways.

I think I should like the front, for it makes me feel better. But I choose the later for what it brings to me and hurts me with sharp and clam observation.
I do not feel good. Meanwhile, I have to go my own way.